Sony to release remastered WWII classic The Longest Day in reverse - Political Quote

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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Sony to release remastered WWII classic The Longest Day in reverse

Wayne surrenders the beaches to Rommel.
In light of the recent decision by SONY Films to cancel the release of "The Interview", following receipt of anonymous death threats, the studio have announced they will be replacing the planned screenings with a release of remastered copies of the WWII classic "The Longest Day" which stars John Wayne, among others, and tells the historic story of the D-Day landings.

However in an effort to avoid any further controversy the Studio have released a re-edited version of the film which runs backwards thus allowing John Wayne to surrender the beaches to the Germans before rounding up the US army and shepherding them safely back onto their landing craft where they sail back to the UK leaving occupied Europe firmly under the jackboot of NAZI rule.

According to a unnamed Sony executive "This should keep us out of trouble with the Germans.  I mean look at what happened to Charlie Chaplin's career after he made "The Great Dictator".  You just don't mess with certain nations-period."

In other development news it's reported that Sony have already "green lit" a new comedy which mocks the Belgian nation, its customs and languages.

Announcing the project, Amy Pascal, head of SONY Films said, "The Belgians are famous for their sense of humour and their tiny army.  Sony feel safe in mocking Belgium."

The Belgian government issued a statement this evening - but no-one cares.

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