News has just reached us that Ireland have lost in Helsinki. Out-fought on every front our Dervish forces were forced into full retreat and ultimately defeated.Their commander John Walters has been captured and will be answering for War Crimes at the Hague later in the year while the Dervish have been interned to await execution at the hands of the victors.
According to the Government Press office Serbia's Marija Serifovic will be flying into Dublin later today to accept our nation's unconditional surrender which will take place on the deck of the LE Eithne in Dublin Bay.
An Taoiseach Bertie Ahern has urged the population to "co-operate with our new Serbian Overlords."
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